Anticipation mingled with nervousness, but mostly excitement.
But wait, you say: “how are you sending off that first chapter so soon?”
Couple of things:
1. Even though I only just started blogging about the book, I’ve been working on it for a bit. I wasn’t sure though if I wanted to be so “public” about my experience. So much comes with opening up. Everything from encouragement to criticism and judgement. In the end I decided I wanted to chronicle my journey for me. I have so many exciting things planned (which you’ll see as we progress) that I felt like blogging would be my “scrapbook.” Plus, I believe in the premise behind social media. You gotta take the good with the bad. You know the song – sing it with me…
2. Also, when you put together a book proposal you need to have at least the first couple of chapters written. I went back through and fine-tuned some things.
As I prepared to send the first chapter off I recall my first job, my first piece of writing and my 20-something ego. I was a PR Specialist for a nonprofit in a rural part of New York. I was tasked with writing the annual report. From conducting interviews to designing the piece, taking the photos, working with the printer – you name it. I was proud of that annual report! I thought I did a great job. The best in fact! I was fresh out of college and I was a PROFESSIONAL! I was a writer, a PR practitioner, a go-getter…
When I got that annual report back from my boss the report was RED all over. My ego took such a blow.
First I was mad. I thought “how could she do this? I’m the EXPERT. I have a degree to prove it!!!” I knew everything. I was 23 after all! (sarcasm intended)
After sulking for a bit I read through the edits. I realized the edits made sense. I got beyond my ego and understood I had so much to learn. Once I came to this realization my love of writing grew even more and my passion for my profession started and never ended.
I wanted to hone my skills, but even more I started to think like the “boss.” Each time I wrote something, created anything, I took it as an opportunity to think about how management would make the connection between the piece I was creating and the goals of the company. This was a pinnacle point in my career. It’s the exact moment in time when I realized I would never let failure, or my own self-perceived definition of failure, get in my way of succeeding.
It was also the moment I knew I couldn’t fail. (Oh boy, doesn’t that last line sound arrogant!) It sure does, but in life when you learn you always succeed. Even now any time I stop to think, rather than reacting impulsively or succumb to emotions, I understand the deeper meaning.
In any event, from that one experience, oh so many years ago, the feelings of wanting to be the best never ceased. I have always pushed myself further and challenged my own personal goals on a regular basis. With each accomplishment my drive increased.
This time, when I sent my work off to my editor I had a feeling of completion and pride. Writing this book has long been a goal of mine so I’m looking forward to the edits and the feedback.