How do you do it?

I originally wrote this post back in 2013. Because of some recent work lately, I thought I’d update this one because all these years later, it’s still relevant. Probably even more so.

I’m always asked “how do you do it?” How do you balance teaching, family, kids activities, simple things like cooking or washing the clothes, your research, taking the dogs out, and now this book? [Remember, I wrote this post when I signed my first book deal.]

How do you do it all?

At the time, one of my friends had asked me – “OK tell me all about the book.” So I did. Then she shook her head and said “How. Do. You. Do. It?”

Nine books later…a move to Michigan… a move back to New York, two teens, two pups… I can’t keep up… the list is too long. 

The answer all those years ago and still today…

My husband.

That was my answer. And it’s still true. He’s how I am able to do all I do.

I recently started reading A Strange Stirring by Stephanie Coontz which breaks down The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. As I’m reading, I realized that everything Friedan wrote about, I’ve never had to experience. I’ve never been constrained or limited by gender roles with my husband in our home. Yet, I know, even in 2020 women struggle. Let’s face it, if we were truly equal the Equal Rights Amendment would be ratified. Except it’s not … 97 years later!

I know I’m fortunate, blessed, and one of the lucky ones. My husband has always supported me in any adventure I’ve wanted to take. One night back in 2006 I had a dream about starting my own company. So we did. From a dream people, we launched our company. He stood with me through every aspect from creating the logo, to going to trade shows, to talking to the media… you name it and he was right there with me. Even when we closed our doors, he was beside me.

From starting our own business to throwing myself into a Ph.D. program to now all these years later writing so many, many, many, many, many, many books – he has cheered me on, stepped up and gotten “his hands dirty,” wiped my tears – sad ones and celebratory, and encouraged me when I thought I couldn’t I couldn’t go on.

He really is my best friend.

So now you have my secret as to how I do it all.

Who helps you, supports you, and allows you to be the person you are? Who’s – as I like to call it – in your tribe?